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Life... Work and etc....

firestorm

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Likes
83
#21
I've been on call for over 18 years, but that will change. It could still get escalated to me, but at least I won't be the one and only on-call person. Why the high level IT person had to be on call? Because my boss was an abusive moron? She said it's because I know how to fix everything, can do it fastest, and I'm salary (i.e. exempt from OT).

I'm still thinking about getting out. I'll talk with a few people have have run businesses successfully, or otherwise consider careers that sound appealing.

One of my favorite ideas is to just get a house with a good acre or so, and open a puppy daycare. I think I could come up with something very cool, fun and different.
 

firestorm

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Likes
83
#23
It's been very up and down. Work has started to even out. I've found some optimism. I still have a lot of work and pressure, but I see it most likely improving. I had some great encouragement from some coworkers, and applying for the management position. I had my interview on Monday, and feel it went as well as could be expected; very pleased with it, regardless of the outcome. We're hearing a lot of good feedback from users about our improvements already. Our Net Tech has had some issues, but hopefully he can work through them. He's the one I am most concerned about.

My marriage.... It looks like we're separating, but we're still sleeping in the same bed. I feel terrible about it, but it is what it is. I feel it's largely my fault, but at the same time, I hold a fair amount of resentment. She's now saying I haven't been there for at least 5 years. I have always been home, but she clarified that one can be there physically and not emotionally. I don't understand, because I feel she wasn't there for me, and failed to help me.. I've seriously struggled with my depression and anxiety, but she at one point told me she didn't want to hear me bitch about work daily.

I know we could be okay. We're civil and amicable even now. But we seem to be incompatible in communication, and intimately. We could get back to doing okay there as well, but I don't think I want the disappointment any longer. It's not fair to either of us. Yet, I struggle with it. I don't know. It sucks. We've discussed me moving into the basement, so we can work on our debt, and the transition. The finality that would come from moving down there would probably help put my mind at ease, but it's scares me.

Generally, I feel good about the progress overall though.

Thanks for asking
 

EM3

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2008
Likes
154
Location
37.84°N 81.99°W
#24
It's been very up and down. Work has started to even out. I've found some optimism. I still have a lot of work and pressure, but I see it most likely improving. I had some great encouragement from some coworkers, and applying for the management position. I had my interview on Monday, and feel it went as well as could be expected; very pleased with it, regardless of the outcome. We're hearing a lot of good feedback from users about our improvements already. Our Net Tech has had some issues, but hopefully he can work through them. He's the one I am most concerned about.

My marriage.... It looks like we're separating, but we're still sleeping in the same bed. I feel terrible about it, but it is what it is. I feel it's largely my fault, but at the same time, I hold a fair amount of resentment. She's now saying I haven't been there for at least 5 years. I have always been home, but she clarified that one can be there physically and not emotionally. I don't understand, because I feel she wasn't there for me, and failed to help me.. I've seriously struggled with my depression and anxiety, but she at one point told me she didn't want to hear me bitch about work daily.

I know we could be okay. We're civil and amicable even now. But we seem to be incompatible in communication, and intimately. We could get back to doing okay there as well, but I don't think I want the disappointment any longer. It's not fair to either of us. Yet, I struggle with it. I don't know. It sucks. We've discussed me moving into the basement, so we can work on our debt, and the transition. The finality that would come from moving down there would probably help put my mind at ease, but it's scares me.

Generally, I feel good about the progress overall though.

Thanks for asking
No problem man I get it. You have a lot to work through and a lot on you. I just wanted to check on you since the holidays are coming up. This time of the year is hard on folks. I am almost wrapping things up here for the year so I don't know if I will be back until the start of 2019. Take it easy and try not to dwell on it if you can.
 

firestorm

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Likes
83
#25
The universe is trying to kill me.

So.... Work has gotten a lot better. Still quite a workload, but it is altogether a far more pleasant environment.

My marriage hasn't changed. I worry she might be getting a mixed message. Although we're still distant, it's a little scary how pleasant things have been. We bought a 2014 Chevy Traverse for her last week, Wednesday, to replace that POS 2009 Dodge Grand Caravan that I've been bitching about since we bought it in the spring of 2010. That's part of the plan I suggested though. Fully finance a "new" vehicle, and sell the van for "cash" to throw at credit debt. I'd rather throw $300/month at a vehicle loan than credit debt.

Then the next day, my mother had a widow maker heart attack. Thankfully, my sister called 911 immediately. They already had her in surgery when she went into cardiac arrest. They shocked her, and she came right back. The doctors and staff did an amazing job. There was a bit more drama and stress, such as balloon pump that stayed in much longer than expected, but it really came down anxiety and needing rest.

I'm building a portable wall for the middle school Mary Poppins musical, and having that lingering in my med didn't help with my own anxiety. I think I've caught up enough now, so I'm feeling better about that.

Overall, I'm feeling better, but I'm still so f'in tired.
 

EM3

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2008
Likes
154
Location
37.84°N 81.99°W
#27
Sorry to here about your mom but I am glad she got through it. Yeah I realized the other month or so it was best for me if I paid off the house simply because of the interest rate on the mortage. I couldn't invest what meger savings I had and get a 6 percent return in interest without risk to the initial investment so I paid it off. I have decided to take the house payment I was making each month and pay extra on the car payment and put the rest in the bank. Truth be told I find financial matters tedious and hard to understand. I have to be in the right frame of mind to "get it". So I know what you mean about those high interest bills and cards. Holidays are very stressful by them selves let alone if there is anything going on in your personal life. Take time for yourself and to rest some. A lot of people don't like the word "no" but it can be your friend if you let it.

Thanks for the update and keep us informed.
 

firestorm

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Likes
83
#28
Things are settling down. Musical is done. I’m done working on the van; it gets a new windshield Saturday, then it’s up for sale. There’s a recall I might try to get done, but I need to get the temp registration so it is road legal again.

I’ve been sleeping in the home theater recliners or the sofa for over two weeks. Even with that change, things seem well. Still no fighting. I’m scared out of my wits some days, but I really don’t question it anymore.

Super Bowl Sunday, a friend was saying he can’t drink hard liquor without getting violent. I said something like, aww, I’m a happy drunk. My wife stepped in and said, you are, up to a point. That angered me. I didn’t act on it. Whatever. Maybe she believes that, but I know I’ve been wasted without her around, and didn’t get depressed or upset. When we were still working on things, we were out with friends, and it was like I wasn’t even there. I got upset. That one type apparently set an infinite precedent.

So I’m just not letting that shit get to me. She’s hurt and is going to lash out at times. Fine. Most of the time, you’d never know there’s a problem.

It does get awkward when she talks about going to Pensacola to see her mother for spring break. There’s also a couples trip to Traverse City planned. People want to know if we’re doing baseball tickets; hates that last year. And there’s the big group camping trip. Oy.

We do need to talk to the kids, but I feel we need to talk first. But we run into bedtime and I don’t want to deal with it.
 

EM3

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2008
Likes
154
Location
37.84°N 81.99°W
#29
Things are settling down. Musical is done. I’m done working on the van; it gets a new windshield Saturday, then it’s up for sale. There’s a recall I might try to get done, but I need to get the temp registration so it is road legal again.

I’ve been sleeping in the home theater recliners or the sofa for over two weeks. Even with that change, things seem well. Still no fighting. I’m scared out of my wits some days, but I really don’t question it anymore.

Super Bowl Sunday, a friend was saying he can’t drink hard liquor without getting violent. I said something like, aww, I’m a happy drunk. My wife stepped in and said, you are, up to a point. That angered me. I didn’t act on it. Whatever. Maybe she believes that, but I know I’ve been wasted without her around, and didn’t get depressed or upset. When we were still working on things, we were out with friends, and it was like I wasn’t even there. I got upset. That one type apparently set an infinite precedent.

So I’m just not letting that shit get to me. She’s hurt and is going to lash out at times. Fine. Most of the time, you’d never know there’s a problem.

It does get awkward when she talks about going to Pensacola to see her mother for spring break. There’s also a couples trip to Traverse City planned. People want to know if we’re doing baseball tickets; hates that last year. And there’s the big group camping trip. Oy.

We do need to talk to the kids, but I feel we need to talk first. But we run into bedtime and I don’t want to deal with it.
It's good when things arent so hectic. Stress kills I've seen it. Some things it is ok to say "fuck it" and not let it bother you. Then there will be days when little stuff that shouldn't bother you will put you over the edge. I had that happen yesterday. I got a bill from Entertainment weekly that I had paid after Tracy passed. She subscribed to it. I was pissed fired off a letter stating there was no money in the estate plus included a copy of her death certificate and told them where she was buried. Sorry I just wanted to give an example of one of the little things. Personally it's ok to let the little stuff not bother you or at least I think so. I figure it's ok to know which battles are worth fighting. As far as the kids I would say they at least have an idea that something isn't right. I am not an expert because I don't have kids only dogs but I would talk to them. Your a smart man and I am sure you have raised them to be respectful and truthful and this is one of those times that yes it will be painful for all those involved to wouldn't you rather they hear it from you vs a friends kid or one of their friends? But thats just me thinking out loud.